Coming Down to the Wire

The time is coming close (less than 7 weeks when I write this). And the big stresses are disappearing as we book, confirm and pay for all the services of a wedding.

Booking the Church

Since we are Catholic, we needed approval by the Catholic Church. Which means we need to prove our single status (not previously married), marriage license from the government, proof of Baptism (only Christian or Catholic, no other religion is allowed), and proof of identification. This was difficult in the paperwork being arranged, but since most of the paperwork was needed for the marriage license, it was quite easy (except baptism papers).

Reception Hall

We booked the room and the time months ago to make sure we would get the menu arranged. We did that and paid a 30% deposit on the meal. They will charge more or less depending on how much food was cooked and how much alcohol and drinks were consumed. We spent an hour on the menu to make sure the meal flowed and we did not repeat the food on Friday, Saturday, or Monday. The actual menu and all menus will be posted in a later post.

Photographer

Booking the photographer is much different than what is seen in the west. The bride and the groom do a photoshoot weeks before the wedding for friends and family to see. This service gets you a full day photoshoot with a selection of suits, dresses and makeup and hair for the bride along with a DVD/CD of all the photos. They also provide flowers, make up, suits, and dresses for the bride and groom on the day of the wedding. This takes a great deal of headache out of planning the wedding and much more relaxing once they are chosen.

Fish Tank and the Bike

As part of the house we got a fish tank that is over 1400 liters. It is massive. The problem was that it was poorly maintained and the silicone was falling off and moldy. So we had it cleaned and some elements replaced. Now we have a mini aquarium full of goldfish, knifefish, and a few others I cannot identify. We also have a small pond with tetras and guppies. We still have our old fish tank. We are still contemplated what fish to put into it. We are thinking a solitary beast that feeds on live fish, but we are unsure.


As for the electric bike. I am speaking to a man that refurbishes vintage Vespas, so we are in talks about an eVintage Vespa. But I want numbers and dimensions before I commit, and more than likely I will postpone until later next year well after the wedding. That is my focus point right now. As for the bike I will get. I have decided on a used gray Honda Dylan imported from Japan. I will call it Bob.


On a side note, I am still scratching my head over Australians and their relationships with Asian women.

Driving in HCMC and Crossing the Road.

Driving in HCMC

The first word that comes to mind is chaos, absolute and utter chaos. All traffic laws are broken, all order, consideration, and manners are tossed out the window. Sidewalks are turned into extra road lanes, parking and food stall areas. So people have to walk and bicycle on the streets adding to the chaos.

I am learning how to drive in a quiet area. I have to break my habits to drive a scooter like I do in Denver, go as fast as possible and keep right so I don't get run over by a gas guzzling SUV.

But I am practicing agility, maneuvering at low speeds and sudden stops. The top speed a person goes is 50kph, the average speed is 30kph. And traffic has no rhyme and reason. Go with the flow.

As for the new bike, a friend of the family has an old Vespa, we are going to resurrect it and make it an electric bike. But I want to do is make it look retro sci fi. Put in fun LED effects when I accelerate and brake.

Crossing the Road

Crossing the road in HCMC is like faith. When you start a religion and take it seriously in your life, you look seriously before you step into it. Then you continue to walk and cross, sometimes you pause and hesitate with lots and lots of prayers to God. But at the end you get to your final destination and greater rewards.

In short, crossing the road is like a leap of faith.

Dragonflies and Settling In

It is getting near the end of the rainy season and a large rainstorm will hit the city in the afternoon and cause a minor floods. In the USA I could smell the air and look at the clouds and know if it was going to rain. But in Vietnam I have to look at the dragonflies. During the rainy season dragonflies will flourish around the few areas with green fields. When they fly high up in the air, the rains are over or it won't be raining. If they are low to the ground, take cover soon it will be raining. I have asked people what is the national symbol of Vietnam, and I never got a straight or conclusive answer. I was told an ox by a few students when they mentioned the symbol for the 22nd SEA (South East Asia) Games. I think it was the dragonfly. Old crockery and art have dragonflies on them. It is recognized as a old fashioned Vietnam thing.

I am settling in to the new house and the new job. The school hired a new dean from NZ and life is interesting as the changes come in.

As for wedding stuff, we are planning suits and dresses for us and for family to wear. Tram's family doesn't wear the ao dai (except for the mom on weddings), Tram and her younger sister prefer dresses. But since the western females want one, then it seems fair for everbody else will wear an ao dai. We are making everything much more concrete. Our plans are to have all invites, wedding photos, fabric for ao dais prepped (seamstress ready, but measurements and making will be last minute), suits are made. So we are just preparing.

I am practicing on Tram's scooter so I can get a Vietnamese motorbike license. But it is an A1 license. I have been looking for a gun and unique bike for me to drive. But with Vietnam the selection is not limited, but they all look the same. And you get a few other options, but they are expensive and the one I want has a higher cc than the A1, and it may be that the bike requires an A2, and it is unsure if foreigners can get an A2 license.

Part of me wants to build an electric motorcycle. Take a Honda Rebel frame from an old bike, get new parts and pull out the motor and replace it with an electric motor. It is an interesting idea. It is something I want to build and plan. I have the ideas, but I am unsure if I really want to do it, due to safety and finding someone else that is an expert to assist me in the building. Any suggestions, give me an idea.

CAT!!!

Today is my day off. After working for a university, they said I would only be working about 20 hours a week, which I didn't mind. But now since they have a teacher shortage and I don't mind working days. They have given me 35 teaching hours a week. You say that isn't bad. But I remind those of you who are teachers, how many hours do you actually teach in a week. Because the paid time I am given is not for preparation of courses or office hours, but pure teaching time. So I am in a classroom for 35 hours, or what I call pure teaching time. It is a bit shattering. I am unsure if I can get used to it or not.

But it beats the time I was given at a language center. Teach at nights from 5:45 to 9pm Monday to Friday night. On Saturday teach from 7 am to 11 am, then teach 3pm to 9pm. And repeat on Sunday 7am to 11am. So over half the paycheck is on a span of 28 hours. It was exhausting, especially since you had to teach children on that day, a teacher would teach young children for 30 minutes and have no previous knowledge of their skill level or where the students were in the book. Impromptu teaching was a core requirement on Saturdays and Sundays.

So, I have had a nice long week where I have been working for 35 hours during the day, plus 3 hours at night on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (6 to 9pm). And mix in about 3 hours a night to study, and prep time, and the time I want to prepare for the wedding. I am a bit shattered. So today I look forward to a nice day off of sleeping in.

My sleep was rudely halted by the yowling of a cat. Above our toilet is an open vent to let air flow to keep the house cool. A male cat came in at 5:45am and started yowling: "Heeeeeey Laaaaaadiiiiiiiieeesssss." I bolt out of bed expecting a feral cat in my house and have to play the game of chasing him out by throwing chopsticks at him. I can find him, until I look above my bathroom to see a small grey head peek over at me. I scream obsenities at him and go back to bed, hoping that blue language is powerful enough to chase him away. As my eyes shut and the last of Morpheus' dust settles on me. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Laaaaaaaaaaaadiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeessssssss!!!! Heeeeeeeeeeeey LAAAAAAAAAAADIIIIIIESSSSS!!!" The magical dust of Morpheus is gone and so is sleep. I throw something at him and he takes off. He will be back, I know it, hormones dictate that there must be a lady cat nearby for him. So I will have to find a way to prevent him from returning.

A big dog can't get above the toilet.

Another cat doesn't help the problem.

Putting a mesh above the vent just means he is outside yowling and I can still hear.

Guns are illegal in Vietnam.

But there are recipes for cat.

In a later post there may be a recipe and a review for stewed cat.

Wow...I disappeared

Sorry for the gap of time in the blog. Time escaped me. I was last mentioning moving to a new home.

Well, we did it, we have a new house. We went from renters to homeowners. That was a scary step. We purchased a house with risky wiring, plumbing and a stairs. So we hired workers to replace the wiring and plumbing. And improve a few rooms (mostly the bedroom and bathroom). It is a two level house and we have not touched the second level. All we did is rip out all the unnecessary stuff and turned it into a storage room. Instead of having an unfinished basement, we have an unfinished first floor. All is good now, I will post pictures of the house in a week or two.

Next I started working for a university (Hoa Sen aka Lotus) and they keep adding hours to my schedule. I went from 2 hours to 30 hours in a matter of no time. That is straight teaching time, no office hours, no gap time. Pure teaching time. It can be exhausting.

Next I started school, studying for an MBA with Glion Online. It is a reputable school so it will be a reputable MBA in hospitality. So I am on my path to becoming a reputable lecturer and maybe something else (consultancy....still working on that).

During the time of this craziness I also became Catholic. Tram (my fiancee) is Catholic and it makes life easier. To my family, Christian is Christian, it does not matter the denomination.

And we also established many things for the wedding. We have figured out what we are doing, who is providing the services, and when things are happening So be big headaches are done. All we have to do is follow up with all the plans.

So I have been busy.

A Night Out with the Prince

A good friend and his brother came into HCMC today. He was with family so the time I could see him was limited to an evening. The brother is dating a girl in HCMC (who is Vietnamese) and the two families wanted to meet.

So where do we go to meet. A small piece of commericialized Americana called the Hard Rock Cafe. Where the booze, food, and music was American (even though the band was from the Philippines). They did three sets of music from 9 to midnight. The first set was pop music that thankfully we missed. The second set was heavy metal, I was rocking out as the rest of the group (Thai and Vietnamese) could not make heads or tails of the music except for the Prince.

The Booze

I went for a 20 oz draft, I missed the taste of something not from a can or a bottle. But it was Carlsberg (a far cry from my memories of Fat Tire or Sunshine Wheat). Tram ordered a margarita (first time for her) and enjoyed it (I think the combination of sour and salt and the sulfur of the tequila made a good combination), and the Prince ordered his favorite (Jack and Coke). The rest of the group ordered mixed drinks but I have no knowledge of what they were.

The Food

Nachos and French Fries were ordered. The French Fries were eaten in the standard SE Asian manner, dipped in ketchup and chili sauce. But the nachos were very unfamiliar to them. When a sauce was made by mixing ketchup, chili sauce, and a small amount of salsa to dip the chips in, I knew a Mexican would of slapped them. The guacamole was untouched because of the garish green color, but ironically avocados are much loved as a food (a brief taste was made but not explored further). At the end the fries disappeared and the nachos remained (sadly I was not hungry or it would have been a nacho apocalypse).

The Music

The Filipino band was good, it was a drummer, a bass guitarist, a lead guitarist, and two singers (a man and woman). The singers put forward a good stage show, but the rest of the band just played the music and had little stage precense. Some of the songs in the second set (the set I enjoyed) were: Stupify by Disturbed, Highway to Hell by AC/DC, One by Metallica, Welcome to the Jungle (I am bored with this song), and other seriously heavy songs.

In the third set, it was all request songs. One individual on the table put in the request of November Rain by Guns n' Roses. I was then requested to play stump the band, so I put in the requests of: Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne, 21st Century (Digital Boy) by Bad Religion, Promenade by Street Sweeper Social Club, and Freedom by Rage Against the Machine. All these songs have faced radio play and should be known, the only one that would seriously stump the band is Promenade. I could have done songs by Bowling for Soup, They Might Be Giants, Atreyu, All That Remains, Hatebreed, Lamb of God, etc. But I wanted to ensure it was a challenge, not impossible.

But as the requests came in and the band played pop songs. /sigh Pop... Hard Rock Cafe....Pop Music. The hardest song played was 21 Guns by Green Day. Before our songs could play the rest of the group decided it was time to call it a night. I wanted to see them attempt one of the requests.

Oh well, it was a fun night out. My complaints are non existant, not wanting to go out because people eat food differently or the some of the music you hear is not entirely enjoyed will turn you into an elitist misanthrope.

What is there to drink...

I spoke about alcoholic beverages in Vietnam, but not the non-alcoholic drinks. Which I think are more interesting and with a greater variety.

Sinh To: One of my earliest posts is about sinh to, I will not go further about this, but I will mention you can get this at a coffee house or on the street. Many flavors of fruit and vegetables are available. But making it at home is better than on the street. But it is best on a hot night after a good meal. The best flavor is a balance of sweet, sour, creamy, cold, and smooth.

Nuoc Ep: It is a fancy term for juice. Most of the time it is the same flavors as sinh to, but not as sweet, rich, or cold.

Nuoc Mia: Sugarcane juice, this is addictive, especially with a small bit of pineapple or lime to squeeze with it, making it slightly sour. It should always be fresh, for it ferments/goes off quite quickly. So when you order a glass of sugarcane juice you will watch the vendor squeeze the juice out of the sugarcane right in front of you. An absolute must at least twice when you visit Vietnam.

Rau Ma: Pennywort drink. Very healthy, but....well to me it tastes like a drink of green beans. I like eating them, but not drinking. The health benefits are great though.

Coffee: Vietnamese coffee is known to be one of the best in the world (much to the chagrin of the Brazillians). The filter method of Vietnamese coffee leaves it thick and strong in flavor, one shot makes a shot of cappucino pale in comparison. To make it weaker to drink, many Vietnamese will pour it over ice in a large mug. To add flavor and sweetness, the coffee will be mixed with condensed milk (most common), yoghurt, or Baileys. I warn you that one mug is enough, two will more than likely upset your stomach.

Tea: Vietnamese tea borrows many flavors from China. But modern style bubble tea houses that was made popular in Taiwan. One of the more traditional Vietnamese teas is artichoke tea, where all artichokes come from a mountainous area famous for fruits, vegetables, flowers, and romance (Da Lat). The traditional ceremony is less structured or formal as the Chinese or Japanese tea ritual, the only importance is the elders are served first. How to drink it and when is not so important. But tea is seen as a simple luxury for everybody. One of the experiences I was not familiar with was called fresh tea, where the tea is made from fresh tea leaves, not dried. It is a bit more complicated to make and water temperatures and steeping is a little more difficult to minimize the bitter flavor.

Yoghurt: The most common form of a yoghurt drink is yoghurt mixed with ice, sugar, and fruit. The melting ice thins out the yoghurt and the fruit adds a nice flavor (usually strawberries).

Sua Bap: Corn milk, I don't know how it is made and we asked and they don't reveal their secrets. It is sold in reused water bottles, it looks like a yellowish milk. But when you drink it tastes...well...like sweet corn. Worth a try if you like corn.

Soy milk: It is much better than what you had from the health food store. They add sugar and flavor to make it edible. So try it again, I personally like it mixed with black sesame seed for a great flavor. In the north and in the mountains, to warm up, they serve it hot. But remember to get it fresh.

Coconut juice: This is common in Vietnam and people on bikes or carts will wander the streets and sell fresh young coconuts. Some vendors will have them in ice to make the juice cold, but that is rare. It is best to get a few, store in ice or in the fridge and have a nice treat later. I won't mention coconut milk as a drink, because it is meant to make and serve with desserts.

Bird's Nest Drink: This is a drink made from the nest of a swallow. It is only served in a can and there are a few companies that make it. It is believed to be very healthy, but it's flavor or the treatment of swallows, may cause many not to drink this drink.


I hope this helps, going to Vietnam means much more than seeing sights and eat some food, but having a good drink while wandering around.

Travel in HCMC and Vietnam

Traveling in HCMC

In HCMC there are many ways to travel. But public transport is not as easy or accessible as it is in Bangkok, Singapore, and Hong Kong.

Taxi

This is a standard in almost every city. There are many taxi companies along with counterfeit taxi cabs. Many taxis will have a meter, but there will be several rates depending on location and how foreign you look....in short the taxi driver will overcharge you.

Only Vinasun and Mailinh taxi companies do not overcharge for any reason. The drivers are well trained and fair. But because of this there are many independents that counterfeit the taxi cabs exploiting the reputation. I have seen Vinasum and Mailim taxi cabs. The best way to look is not only the name, because even less legitimate cab counterfeits will have the same name. The details to look for are phone numbers and dress of the taxi driver. Mailinh and Vinasun have set phone numbers, if you know the phone number than it is obvious. But as a tourist, you will not have the phone number memorized. So the other detail is the dress of the driver. The Vinasun and the Mailinh taxi driver is paid a bit better than other drivers and because of this they have higher uniform standards, and in this uniform is a tie. If given a preference, the Vietnamese man will not wear a tie. The driver of a counterfeit cab will not wear the tie or take it off when he leaves the garage and the watchful eye of his supervisors.

An average taxi drive should never cost you too much money. It should cost about $10 to cross town.

Bus

The city bus system is fast, cheap, and efficient. The buses are a bit old, but they are all air conditioned. But because of the heavy traffic and the schedules, it may seem a bit crazy for you. Many times there is not enough room or space for a bus to pull over, so you may have to get out in the middle of traffic. And if you are young, the bus may not really stop, just slowly roll, so you must run and jump on the bus. But the cost of the bus is about 15 cents. So it is hard to complain.

During rush hour (aka peak traffic), the buses wil be crowded, but the bus lines wil compensate by having two buses on the route instead of one. But even then you may not get a seat and have to stand. Another problem with a bus is that if you don't know where to get off, and know the exact route, then you will have problems. Unlike many other buses where you will get off the front door, in HCMC you will get off the middle or second door. You stand near the door to signal you want off the and driver will pull over, again if you are young(ish) you will only get a rolling stop.

Xe Om

Xe om is Vietnamese for a motormike taxi. These drivers are all over HCMC and if there is just one of you, it can be much, much cheaper and faster. But you have to negotiate the price. The cost of going across town is about $2.50. But if you have any emotional problems about riding a motorbike, forbidden from riding on something with only two wheels or easily scared, then the xe om is not for you. But if you want a true Vietnamese experience, you must ride one of these at least once in your life.

Traveling in Vietnam

Van Rental

You can rent a van and a driver. You can arrange this option for a road trip where there is a large group of people involved. The problem is that there is one driver, and if you decide that you want to travel overnight, then be aware that around 4 am your driver will be falling asleep and may cause an accident also. So if you are with a group that wants to travel overnight with one driver, just refuse. The rented van is comfortable for about four hours at most. After that, find another form of transportation.

Bus

The travel bus has two forms, the seat and the sleeper. The seat is a comfortable and cheap form of travel. The other option that is a bit more expensive called the sleeper bus. You will get in a seat the reclines and you travel overnight so you can sleep as you travel.

The main problem with this form of travel is the length of time it takes to get from one part to another. The infrastructure of Vietnam is still developing and the road system is not efficient. There are no highways, thus you have to travel through municipal areas and the speed limit will rarely exceed 50 mph. Because of this a trip to Da Lat is about 280 miles and it will take 8 hours to get there. The cost for a trip like this is about $5.

Plane

Plane is the quickest form of travel, and it is best and quickest and most comfortable. But the downside is the expense. It will cost you $50 to $70 to travel from one part of Vietnam to another. Thankfully there will be an addition to budget airlines and it will open up routes and lower costs for you to travel.

Last Point

Remember that Vietnam is still developing and the infrastructure of the cities and nation are not up to the standards that you will see in many other countries (even other developing nations such as China and Thailand). An extra ounce of patience and planning is needed for travel in Vietnam.

Why I Decided to Stay in Vietnam

I put many posts warning travelers about being careful in Vietnam and all the potential problems a person can face. I have probably scared you away. Now I will tell you the reasons, other than my fiancee, why I am staying in Vietnam.

Friendly People

The Vietnamese are exceptionally friendly. They are willing to help and assist you, especially a foreigner as best they can. My fiancee has given assistance to many foreigners without a second thought, just because she knew enough English to make everything easier. I have seen this with many Vietnamese. They understand the strength of tourism and try to promote it as much as possible.

In many other big cities when you are walking around people will come up to you and speak English to beg for money. In Vietnam they come up and speak English just to practice English with a foreigner. When you walk down the streets, you will get large groups of people saying "hello" and laughing afterwards, if you don't mind minor interruptions of friendliness, then it is quite enjoyable.

Food

Vietnamese food is brilliantly good. The majority of the food is not as complicated as some other cuisines (specifically the royal Asian cuisines). The Royal Vietnamese cuisine almost died out due to many reasons, but it is finding a resugance with a few people that learned how to cook for the long dead royals many years ago.

Vietnamese food has become so strong that the word pho (pronounced fuh) has become an English word (the definition has changed from a specific type of Vietnamese noodle/broth dish to all Vietnamese noodle/broth dishes).

But there are many more dishes which I will describe later.

Striving for a Better Future

This is something I noticed in China, Cambodia, and Vietnam. Everybody strives to be better as a person. The country strives to be better, they want to be better. That is something that disappeared in the USA many years ago. We lost it when the Cold War ended, no one to compete against, no challenge, no competition. Americans have lost the edge, it is the best...but what does that mean. And now that we don't know what it means to be the best anymore, we have lost our direction for the future.

Simplistic

The Vietnamese enjoy simple over complex, they enjoy concrete ideas over complicated and intricate ideas. And you see this repeated over and over again in their culture. Their art may be difficult and intricate but the image is very simple and direct. The food is nothing using expensive, just exploiting the best flavors available. The simple dress and clothing style is evident and practical. The most complicated is the ao dai (I will cover that idea later and explore that concept also).

Focus on the Family

The focus on culture is family over personal. As I stated before, if the parents request something from a child, their opinion whether it is good or bad is not a factor. But remember this, when a girl marries into a family, she becomes part of your family. Demands from her parents are options that you will follow, demands from your parents (as the husband) are commands.

Religious But Not Fanatical

The fanaticism that I see all over the world for religion scares me, scares me alot. Watching the few extremist Muslims and Christians scaring the world and may take the world to a war that no one can win. Watching hatred and ignorance in the name of religion (whose foundations and messages are contrary to these statements and actions) makes me angry, upset and scared.

The Buddhists and Catholics are very understanding and accepting about people and their faith. They don't strive to convert or censor you because your beliefs are different. They are fearful of Muslims, sadly, because there are very few in Vietnam and the media is infamous for painting a poor image of the Muslims. I would like to see a movie of a devout Muslim being a hero, not a victim, not a monster, but a hero. There are many heroes, humanitarians, and great people in the world and their religion is not a factor, but the message they learned compels them to be this great person. I have never hear anyone claim a person or a faith as Satanic or evil. The Vietnamese language does not even have Satan or paganism in the language. They do have words for devils and demons, but they are viewed as archaic things of superstition.

Focus on Education

Education is a valuable in the Vietnamese culture. They have morality tales about regret about not being good at school. They actually observe teacher's day where the teacher gets gifts of food, money, and more than likely a free meal out of it. One of the most respected positions is to be a teacher. But sadly the pay does not reflect the respect.

They also respect intellectuals as long as you are not pompous and down to earth about your knowledge.

A Few Surreal Moments

Watching the dragonflies come out after a large rainstorm and hover like a cloud over the green grass.

Driving through torrential rain in one part of the city and two minutes later to be in another part that is hot and dry with no rain at all.

Being treated like a minor celebrity at a dinner party or wedding because you are a foreigner.

The beautiful flower displays during the flower festival in Da Lat. (I will explore Da Lat later, a place that is ignored by foreign tourists, but loved by the Vietnamese)

Watching an entire city virtually shut down for two weeks a year for Vietnamese New Year.

The lazy jazz band backed by Chinese percussion playing Christmas songs before Christmas mass.

The smell of flowers, incense and burnt paper permeating the air on the first day of Vietnamese New Year.

Paperwork for Marriage

One of the most trying things for people is paperwork. If you are going to be married in Vietnam, you will have a lot of paperwork and about one month in time and some money.

First off the paperwork you will need will differ from province/city the Vietnamese citizen comes from. HCMC is the most lax compared to other provinces.

The Bulk of the Paperwork

Both of you will need a medical check up at an approved hospital, and if you are a non-Asian, the cost will be higher. It is a simple blood check, overview/review with a doctor, etc. Nothing detailed nothing problematic. A further check is needed if you are French, but I am unsure what exactly that entails since I am not French.

You both will need a piece of paper declaring your status that you are single. You may need to get it from the state government you are from and not the consulate/embassy of your nation. The single status paperwork, then needs to be translated and stamped/approved by the Ministry of External/Foreign Affairs.

Your passport will need to be photocopied with every stamp and be stamped by the local authority. The Vietnamese citizen needs their family red book photocopied and approved/stamped and their government identification card photocopied and approved/stamped.

You will fill out a CV (depending on the requirements of the provincial government) and a profile with passport size photos.

After filling out all paperwork, you submit it to the proper authorities (Ministry of Justice) along with a set amount of money. They will give you a piece of paper for an interview.

The Interview

For the interview you will need a translator unless you speak Mandarin or Korean (according to the statement on our sheet of paper, your sheet of paper may be different). Find a good translator who is nice and a bit charming. They will ask questions about where you met, what you have done, details about family. And a few times they may ask for some extra money to make things quick or approved (it is up to you, you don't have to pay). They will then submit the interview information and wait. They may ask for further information, pictures, plane tickets, and other things to prove your information/story.

After the Interview

You will have to come back in another two weeks to see if you are approved.

Once you are approved, in four to five weeks you will get your marriage certificate. The marriage certificate means you are approved by the government to get married. Double check all information, because your information is foreign, mistakes may happen. Sign and get your piece of paper. Cover it in plastic (at a local photocopy shop) and also get official government copies ordered at the Ministry of Justice at the same time.

Benefits of the Vietnamese Marriage Certificate

You can be officially married by a church. The Catholic Church will ask for more paperwork (proof of your Christianity, her visa if you are moving to another country, or proof you are staying in Vietnam, plus paperwork you went through marriage lessons). You can get a visa exemption stamp, it is a five year stamp that you renew every three months that replaces all other visas. This stamp and the renewals are significantly cheaper than a tourist/business visa.

You can also reside legally in a house that is in your spouse's name (rented or owned). Before that you have to reside in a home that is governmentally approved for foreigners and the contract maximum is three months (and usually more expensive to rent).

This is also the first step to get you a work permit, temporary residence card, and eventually dual citizenship.

The work permit needs: a letter of invitation/contract from a business, an authorized diploma, a government criminal background check and a health check.

Temporary residence needs: a work permit, relation (marriage, parent, child of VN citizen), a house (owned not rented), a health check, government criminal background check and proof of reasonable income from spouse (she or he has to make enough to provide for you if you are unemployed).

Passport/dual citizenship: almost the same as the temporary residence, along with the temporary residence card.

The most difficult thing about the paperwork is that it has a 6 month life, so find out how long it takes for everything. For example, the criminal background check is approx 5 weeks, but it will take longer because of information from the foreign nation. Your diploma approval is dependant on the nation you graduated from (ie: AU is 2 weeks, and the USA is about 2 months, AU has a central database that can be done overseas, the USA is dependent on the state so you have to send your diploma to the state you graduated from). The health check takes one week of processing after 4 hours of testing. And this is compiled with the letter of offer (most than likely the company will have a template with the blank date to ensure all is done well). The big problem is with being a teacher in an overseas country is that you have to get approval from both the Ministry of Labor and the Ministry of Education. Sometimes a lawyer can help, but most of the time they are expensive and sometimes give false information. If you have the time and the patience, you can do it yourself. As with most paperwork with the VN government.

Clothing and Suggested Clothing for the Wedding Feast

The last blog was long....almost too long....and I should just take away the 'almost'.

I will break down the ceremonies, what I will wear, what Tram will wear. And in brief what you should wear.

In General

A light t-shirt, shorts, sandals, a hat, and sunglasses. For some of you it will be hot, for others it will be comfortable. The rainy season is done, so there is a small chance of rain, don't worry about getting wet or bringing rain gear. Don't bring a coat or sweater (unless you live in North America, use it for the plane trip to and from). If you are from the USA and coming to Vietnam, bring a change of clothes and change during your layover (or be insane and dress for the destination during the plane trip, not for your current location).

Other things to bring, beach wear (shirt and shorts that will get wet at the beach and affected by salt water. My standard wear is shorts and a t-shirt and sandals, for government paperwork an untucked button down shirt and trousers, and for teaching a nice button down shirt, wingtips, trousers and a tie.

Asking the Bride's Family Permission to Marry

I will be wearing gray trousers, a gray tie, and a red shirt. Tram will be wearing a formal ao dai that is traditional. If you are a 'Brother', a 'Sister' or part of the family in the ceremony, I suggest trousers, shirt, shoes, and a tie if you are a man, and if you are a woman, I suggest an ao dai for the younger women, and either an ao dai or something formal yet light and comfortable for the elder women.

The Wedding

This will occur at a Catholic Church near Tram's family's house. I will be wearing a black suit, black tie, and a white shirt with a fun pattern on it. She will be wearing a western style formal white wedding dress, we are currently hunting the dress that she will wear.

As for guests, wear a button down shirt, trousers, and shoes for a man (a tie is not needed unless you are direct family). Women can wear something semi-formal and very comfortable, remember it is going to be warm.

The Introduction of the Bride to the Groom's House

I will wear a nice blue shirt, blue tie, and blue trousers (all different shades) along with black wingtips. Tram will be wearing the same ao dai as the previous day.

As for the witnesses and family, be semi formal, no ties, but collared shirts, closed toe shoes, and trousers are suggested for men. For women, a nice dress is suggested, or semi-formal.

The Reception

At the beginning, we will wear our outfits during the wedding when we welcome guests. Before the opening ceremony, we will change. Tram will change into a fun ao dai, and I will change to a lighter suit (the color is giong to be a blend of gray, light brown, and yellow....hard to describe, formal yet fun and practical).

As for guests. This is a moment to have fun, be formal. But wear something fun. I heard a rumor that a friend is going to wear a linen suit. I recently saw pictures of the Irish linen suit, and I am five shades of jealous, especially with a light purple shirt and a fun tie. Mix that suit with a straw boater and that is a great suit, that is formal, yet unstuffy and comfortable.

A Request

If you are a female and coming to our wedding and you are interested in ao dai. Please contact us, we will try to get one made for you ahead of time. We will need a long list of measurements, and we will discuss styles. If you show up and want one here, then we can get the fabric and have it made as quickly as possible, but it will be simple in style and not complex.

Here is a link to ao dai styles. This will give you the general idea. The cost will be lower, but the cost will vary depending on materials and complexity of style.

As a prediction, I think that the ao dai will become more and more popular to wear among Asian women all over the world. It has several styles and there are several fashion designers who not only style the ao dai, but the fabric also. The popularity comes because it is form fitting, but you don't have to be super thin for it to look good on you. The long trousers can cover the shoes that the girl is wearing to make her look taller (at one show, a model was wearing shoes to add 15 cm on her, but the trousers covered the fact mostly. You had to look, and since she was on the runway, her feet were a bit below eye level.

Dating and Marriage

Okay, despite the fear, scams threats, and hullabaloo stated by the media and the innate fear of dating someone via the internet. It works. But don't expect to be 100% successful. It happens, but it comes with a healthy warning. Love and marriage will come to those who work at it. And remember there is a gut feeling about it.

Scams

There are sites that are scams: "pay us money and you can get the wife in the photo" (and the photos are all model quality women), women who are leeches (where they will have many men sending them money), men who are fraudulent (send him money and in return he will get the girl a visa), or the random bride selection.

The Repercussions

A Korean bride site matched a young Vietnamese bride to a Korean man with mental problems, she ended up being beaten and stabbed to death. Article here. A person can witness illegal or scam marriages in Ho Chi Minh City. We witnessed a group of Korean men and VN women going back to a hotel after marriage, it was a large group (about 12), it looked like it was hastily done, and they were in a rush for no one to see them. Because of this, it was surmised that this was an illegal marriage. Many men from other countries find themselves socially inadequate or undesireable in their home country to find an overseas bride looking for a better life.

So in many cases, women from developing countries are being lured into another country in promise of a good life, only to find a place with no support, no help, and in a worst situation. So women be careful.

But women aren't the only ones who should be careful. There are men who are not socially active, or desireable by women in his country (due to shyness, looks, etc.), become a target of affections by an attractive woman. You will chat with her and then the woman will come with a sob story of her being poor and needs money for her or her family. And the man, who in his heart is a 'White Knight', becomes her savior. But more than likely she is talking to many men and getting lots of money. For a promise of a few photos and words that these men want to hear. This can go quite far, the furthest is the sham marriage.

Sham marriages can occur for a woman to get entry into a foreign country where she has family. Or it is something more diabolical than getting past legal difficulties of xenophobic state departments stuck with Cold War mentalities. A man meets a girl from a foreign country, they fall in love quickly, and get married even more quickly, the bride arranges all the details. In SE Asia the tradition is for the man to give money to the bride's parents and gold to the wife in the symbol of thanking the parents for raising the daughter and gold to make sure that if things are financially tough later, they can sell the gold. The type of gold and the amount of money varies from country to country and family to family. Many western men find this repugnant because it is like buying a woman from the family (a form of slavery). The gold can be rented also, it is more symbolic, it should not be significantly large or excessive. If the request is excessive, then as a man, beware. Next a person can book and arrange for catering, entertainment, and flowers and not pay until after the wedding (thus a bride can collect money to pay for these things ahead of time), be careful if money is requested and there are no receipts. And lastly is the red envelopes, in Asian culture red envelopes with money in it is accepted, it helps pay for the wedding. And hopefully after the wedding is paid for there is enough money to help the bride and groom out for a honeymoon or a new house or whatever. Many times one has to ask who will collect and keep the red envelopes, because if family does it, more than likely the family will keep the money.

How can this be a scam?

If the gov't paperwork isn't finalized and the wedding is rushed: the gold, the cash (dowry) to parents, payments of services and goods, and the red envelopes will disappear along with the wife. And a man who that he is in love with a beautiful woman will find himself stuck in a foreign country with little money and broken hearted.

But before you can cluck your tongue and shake your head at the greediness of Asian women. I want to remind you of the women who will marry a rich man only to divorce him and get half of his assets.

Where do you find a nice Asian woman?

In all honesty, despite all the scams and problems, the man who get scammed the worse (as the wedding scenario) do not find a bride via the internet, but at a bar, poolhall, or coffeeshop. If you visit an Asian country and you are in the tourist area you find attractive women in these places. They will be attracted to you, but beware, these are not nice girls, nor do they have a reputation in their own country. Nice girls are usually not there. So how do you meet the nice girls. The nice girls are shy and sincere. They don't want to have a bad reputation by going or working at those places. So they can be courageous by going online.

Why do Asian women want to find a western man?

The reasons are varied why they are looking. More than likely a woman got treated poorly by a bad apple and they look beyond their own culture. So they look online. Plus in some nations, a mixed ethnicity child is considered attractive, smart, and will be successful. Many women in developing nations see men and life in another country as a paradise away from toil, poverty, and not having a family. They marry early in Asia, and if you wait too long, a woman could be considered unmarriable because she could not produce healthy children, or have the benefit of youth to raise them. Again we have many examples contrary to this, but many women do gain a better life.

Why do men want an Asian bride?

Many men in the west find it difficult to date a woman in countries like the USA, Australia, etc. Due to social awkwardness, not meeting set appearance guidelines, etc. He will look elsewhere. (I include myself in this category.) There are many reasons why women are much more selective in western countries (some blame feminism, I don't think that is a fact, even feminists want a mate). I blame the 49% male population to the 51% female population in developed nations. It means that men have to be more competitive to find a woman and many times a man can not find a girlfriend or wife. The percentage of women to men is much higher in developing nations. The exception to this is China, due to traditional values, the high male ratio is found specifically in the countryside not in the cities.

A man that gets no responses on a western dating site, will get many attractive Asian women contacting and chatting with him online. A person who can barely get a date in a western country (me), can have many girlfriends in Asia (me again). It just means getting enough courage to travel or live overseas. (More on that later.)

Are western women threatened by Asian women?

I am not sure about this fact, most of the evidence is anecdoctal. Where Asian women will get threatened by American women. Article here. The reasons of these threats are various: racism (different races shouldn't marry, or so they believe), jealousy (the exotic appearance and small stature, comparically), misconceptions (all the horror stories that the man is being duped and a nice guy is with an unfaithful woman), etc.

Before you label my statements as racist, or ignorant, evaluate your feelings about my marriage. Are you excited or hesitant, and if you are hesitant, ask yourself why. Would you be hesitant if I was marrying a white girl, or a girl from a western nation.

Now to reverse this, many Asian (from Asia) women are jealous and fearful of western women, to the point that they think if a western man has a choice between a white woman and an Asian woman, he will always choose a white woman.

What a western man should know before marrying a woman from Asia

Remember, in Asian culture, the group and the family is more important than the individual. So you are not just marrying a girl, you are also marrying into a family. The idea an Asian girl going against the wishes of the family is unimaginable and any request of the man to do so will make her miserable. So be aware of what the family is like, for they will influence your life and decisions for many years. As a man who wants to marry an Asian girl, you must realize this. But remember, she must balance the priority of being a daughter and being a wife. While she dates she is still a daughter and must obey all wishes of her family. After her marriage (part of the ceremony is her going from her household to your household) she becomes a member of your household, so her top priority is wife and daughter-in-law. But this is confused in many families (including Asian couples) where the wife's priority puts her parents and her siblings higher than you or your family. It is supposed to be the duty of the new daughter-in-law to be in charge of the house in a traditional household.

But many new issues arise which can add conflict when a girl marries a westerner or a male that is perceived to be wealthy. These are undesirable traits that occur and a man has to be careful, this will prove that you are a lower priority to her. Large sums of money disappear from your savings, when he questions it, he finds out she needed to loan money to family or friends in an emergency (with no thoughts of repayment). She prefers to be in her family home than yours, her family and friends abuse your hospitality by staying at your home and eating your food without any reimbursement of any kind.

How will the western man's family react to your marriage

I know of three western mothers of men who married an Asian woman. (I include my own mother to this, sorry mom, but these issues are going to be made public). Many families will react with hesitation because of fear. Fear because of misconceptions and the unknown.

Many misconceptions are: that the new bride will steal all your money, that the new mother-in-law will completely control your entire life, that the family is using you just as a paycheck, the new bride is controlling and is changing the way the son acts and interacts with his family, the new bride is just looking for a green card and will leave the man broken hearted and alone once she has the green card, etc.

Now not all the misconceptions will be unfounded. Many times your family is looking out for the best for you. But the best way to see what is going on is to make many friends in Asia and see how they react to your future bride, they will be much better judges, knowing what is culture (or cultural conflict) and what is not good. Many times the girl will act saintly around your family, but not around your friends, they may let something slip in their native language.
When should you get married?

Many times a marriage is forced because of pressures of family for a better life. The girl does not like the man, but because the family sees it as a paycheck, she will get into a loveless marriage. If you have any hesitations or problems, marriage will not cure them, marriage is not a cure to problems, it just hides them for awhile as both of you are busy getting ready for the wedding.

What problems will occur?

Most problems will occur due to cultural and language differences. Many times both the man and the woman in a couple will assume that their partner will react in a way similar to their culture and get upset when they do something different. You both have to accept and learn about each other's culture and way of life. Language will be another problem, since you and her will be speaking a second language, not all words or concepts of words will be exact. So what you say or what she says, may be upsetting. The solution is to be patient, speak slowly, and make sure everything is understood.

Any other problems occur because of your or her priority to the household, family, or work.

Again marriage or a child is not a solution, so if you think something like that will happen, then think again. If in doubt then don't do it.

Alcohol in Vietnam

For alcohol that is local to Vietnam, there are only three types: rice spirits, red wine and beer.

Red Wine

The red wine is simple and sweet and all of it comes from the mountains of Dalat. If you are looking for the complex flavorful wines. Then you will spend too much money for something from Europe or Australia. Red wine, Scotch, and Cognac are not enjoyed, even by most of the people who buy it and drink it, it is more a status symbol to show off wealth and status.

Rice Wine

The rice wine of Vietnam is a bit different that what you see in Japan, Korea, or China. It is more traditional. Many will buy the basic rice wine then flavor it in a jar with other ingredients. You can also buy the wine with the other ingredients inside. Some of the ingredients are scorpions, cobras, herbs, spices, and roots. The rice wine flavor is not as shattering and jarring as Chinese rice wine, but it is not smooth like Korean or Japanese rice wine.

It is something you should try, we will have some available, but it will never, ever be forced upon you.

Beer

The majority of people drink beer in Vietnam. The three most popular brands are Tiger (from Singapore), Heineken (from the Netherlands), and 333 (from Vietnam). All three pretty much taste similar, but they are okay to drink.

It is hot, so hot that by the time you drink your beer, it will be lukewarm. So it is traditional to drink your beer with a large chunk of ice in it. Because of this, mostly the beers will be lighter lagers.

Other good beers (but not popular) in Vietnam are: Halida (a VN beer that is made under the supervision of Carlsberg), Saigon Beer (there is a Ha Noi beer also, but not as good), LaRue (a beer made from French recipes and supervision), and BGI (Bloody Good Idea, a beer made by the supervision of Australians).

Saigon is the only one that comes in three labels: red, white, and green. Red label is the most popular, it is a light lager reminiscent of Tiger, Heineken, and 333. White label has a better taste, and is also known as Saigon green, because it is in a green bottle. The third and the best tasting and the least popular is green label or special. It is in a green bottle and a green label. It is very nice, but hard to find.

When coming to VN, beer is a good addition to a meal. Most Vietnamese food tastes better with beer.

But if beer is not an option. There are other things to drink.

Observations

After witnessing two weddings between a southeast Asian girl and a westerner. I noticed some common problems that occur. These are problems I will talk about and then discuss ways it will be avoided.


1. The wedding was done in a rush.

Since, we planned to get married in about 6 months, and we put alot of thought into it already. We are not going to rush things. Our goal is to have everything planned and prepared at least one month before we get married. We are going to a friend's wedding in Hong Kong at the end of November. And we want everything planned and prepared before that time. So people visiting from overseas will know what is going on.


2. The visitors from overseas were neglected and uncomfortable.

Both weddings were in a more countryside manner. Because of that, it meant uncomfortable travel and conditions that are very unfamiliar to a person from the west. Again, we are lucky, the wedding will be held in Ho Chi Minh City, so even if a person shows up for one day (from another part of SE Asia, it won't be too difficult).

We will give people options for hotels to stay at, along with photos inside the room and negotiated price for that hotel and distance from locations. The devil is in the details.

Since people traveled far and wide to see us, it has been stated that as a good host, I should make sure all is okay with them. So if you want to journey outside and do things away from the group. It is okay, we will give maps and tour guide links and locations for restaurants and shops. But we will have group activities also planned. A guest from another country being stuck in a hotel room all day as we go out and have fun or see people is unforgivable.

Food, I will list all the food menus that we will provide for the four days the we plan for the wedding feasts. I will list, describe, and photograph the majority of the dishes we will provide.

The wedding feast itself will be okay, if we go to too expensive and nice banquet hall for food, it is a waste of money. We are planning to have about 300 people at the reception and most are not gourmets in the small part. So for those who did not eat much, we will have snacks for people to feed on as we gather and converse after the reception.

We will also have a large variety of snack food and drinks for people to grab at our house to take back to their hotel room. We are welcome to suggestions, but water and a large selection of fruit is guaranteed. Vietnam is renowned for fresh fruit and many different types. Many people miss this when they visit.


3. People can get sick from the food and water.

We will remind people to not drink the water and not to eat fresh greens outside of our home. All greens will be washed in tap water, if your stomach isn't cast in iron, this will give you a bug (it takes a new person about 2 to 6 months to adapt). We will wash all greens in our houses in filtered/boiled water, so all the nasties that will affect your stomach are dead. So you can enjoy all aspects of Vietnamese food (they eat alot of fresh salad greens). We will also have a big box full of stomach medicines.

We will have bottles of water for people to take and drink along with other liquids for you to drink.


4. If you are not used to it, Asia is an assault on the senses.

I noticed that many people visiting Asia, especially Vietnam, have all their senses shattered. It is hot, and even in January it will be hot (not for SE Asians or Aussies), but for North Americans, it will be hot. The constant traffic noise and congestion will bother your ears. The pollution will affect your nose and eyes. And nothing looks familiar. The saying that every city is the same will be challenged.

You will need a form of a safe haven, away from the noise, smells, and pollution. We will have a hotel nearby, but if you don't like it, we will also have hotel options nearby. It may mean a taxi ride away. If so, we will have a print out of locations in Vietnamese and a phone number for the taxi driver. Our house is big enough and will always be a place for people to relax and eat. Even if we are not there. But I do not suggest it, because being abandoned in a foreign country sucks.


5. During the ceremonies people not knowing what is going on

Many times parents and family will see all these great things and have no clue what it means. And just sit there like a dumb post wanting to say something and not knowing when to speak or what to say. All formal ceremonies will have a sheet describing it, translating what is said. And if a speech is given, the basic idea will be translated. Plus, my family will also have to participate (if they want), in similar sheets they will have the words in English and a phonetic form of Vietnamese (that is not going to be fun, but needed).

During the reception, we are looking for an MC that is strong in English also. But if not found, we will have Tram be the bride and the MC. That will be the last option.



That is all I can think of now for problems and solutions. If there are anymore that you have seen or can think of, please make a comment.

How Do You Know It Is Time to Move

Question: How do you know it is time to move from the place you are renting?

Answer: When the paint starts peeling off the walls.

In Vietnam, rental property is varied in price, quality, and selection. But one aspect is universal, what you expect as a westerner is not the same.

The price for renting a house is usually lower with the exceptions of a few really high end apartment complexes or houses in Districts 1, 2, and 7 (the places where corporate expatriates live).

But if you live in the cheaper areas the low rent means that you must also take care of all costs of improving the property. So I have an incredibly low rent for a 5 room house with a balcony in a nice neighborhood. But the roof leaks....alot....we pressured the next-door-neighbor (a Buddhist geomancer who focuses on the elemental ritual of water) to fix his roof. But now he has a nice new roof and the water from his roof still causes our house to flood. And it is causing a few of our walls to get wet. We had the house painted before we moved in (our cost, Vietnamese way of things, bitch and complain still doesn't change things) and the walls dried very slowly. Now eight months later, the roofs leak more during the rainy season and the paint on the walls are peeling off.

It is time to move to a new house.

Being Safe in HCMC

Vietnam is a safe country. It is safe by means that you will probably not get mugged or attacked.

But there are many thieves in Ho Chi Minh City. And any opportunity for someone to steal something will happen.

In the past 10 months, these are the stories I heard about people having things stolen.
1. Cell phone grabbed out of the hand as a person is on a motor scooter.
2. Motor scooter stolen.
3. Thieves entering a house looking for laptop and motor scooters.
4. Purse stolen off a tourist with her passport in it.
5. Luggage searched by cleaning ladies and cash stolen.
6. A fake accident and motor scooter stolen.
7. Plants and planters stolen from in front of the house.
8. Necklace ripped off the neck.
9. A thief entering the same house 3 nights in a row.
10. Pickpockets in the markets.

How do you minimize these types of thefts.
1. Don't lightly handle your phone, put it securely in your pocket or belt case.
2. Put your scooter in a proper parking area with security.
3. Keep your house locked even when you are in it.
4. Put the strap in a cross shoulder, never just sling. You will have a grab and dash thief take it.
5. Don't leave valuables in your room. Put it in a safety deposit box, or if you are visiting me, I can put in a box and secure it with a lock inside my locked house.
6. Don't ride your bike too late at night.
7. Get really big plants and heavy planters.
8. Don't wear your very expensive jewellery when out on the streets (the wedding will be fine, no one will attack at the wedding hall, and you will go directly in a taxi).
9. Lock your door, even if you think they have taken enough. replace the locks, they may have broken them.
10. Don't carry all your cash in your pocket. Keep your hands near your pockets or put them in a pocket with buttons.

Other hints:

Don't carry your passport with you. Make color copies or your visa and passport with you. By VN law the hotel owner has to keep your passport and make a document with the police to show that you are legally residing at the hotel.

At the reception hall there are pickpockets and there will be crowds as you leave. Don't carry cash or a purse. You don't need to pay for anything (maybe a taxi ride back to the hotel).

Less obvious versions of theft:

Price gouging and counterfeit items are common in Southeast Asia. If a bad is too good to be true, it probably is. There are high quality counterfeits. There are shops that take factory seconds. It will be much more obvious and we know the shops.

You will eventually go to Ben Thanh Market. It is fun, but you will get grabby merchants that will overprice everything. They will grab you by the arm and try to guide you to the stall to buy tourist junk. If you see something take a picture and we can get it later. They would rather not sell at all then get a reputation for selling normal prices to a foreigner. You can haggle, but they will never go to a reasonable price. Same will happen at Saigon Square.

You should do a trip, take pictures and talk about sizes that fit you. We can then arrange some people to shop for you the next night. It is not the thrill of shopping, but you will get the best prices. At the cost of an extra shirt or bag for the shopper.

Counterfeiting will not only happen in the street markets, but also at the big shopping plazas. They will sell counterfeits all the time at the prices of the actual item (buyer beware).

I hope this does not scare you, you can get great things here, get hand crafted instead of name brands. And be smart, you will come out with a great experience.

VN shortribs versus American countryribs

Pork is a common meat in Vietnam, many dishes use various parts of the pig. Even the blood of the pig is used in some dishes. One of the common dishes that is hard to find in a restaurant is the short rib.

The short rib is a rib cut by a heavy cleaver. It is big enough for a person to pick up with their chopsticks, place in your mouth and for you to chew the meat off the bone in your mouth and spit out the bone. Beware of the bone splinters.

The American country rib is a rib that is part of the infamous full and half rack of ribs that a person finds at a barbecue.

Here are the recipes:

Vietnamese Short Ribs

Serves: 2

500 grams pork short ribs
sugar
salt
fish sauce
pepper
2 shallots
2 cloves garlic
oil
1 young coconut

-Slice/chop the garlic and shallots
-Put the ribs in a bowl, place in a tsp of sugar and salt, about a tbs for fish sauce and mix it all together. Put the chopped/sliced garlic and shallots on top.
-Let marinate for 30 to 45 minutes.
-Heat up a pan, put in a small amount of oil and 1/2 tsp of sugar. Cook the sugar until it is a very light gold, remove from heat and put in the pork.
-Cook the pork ribs in the pan until the meat is cooked. As the meat is cooking, cut the top off of the coconut and pour out the juice in the pan.
-Bring the liquid to a boil, then lower the heat to low for a simmer. Cook the meat until the liquid is gone.
(You can eat the meat without cooking it in the coconut juice, but it is tough)
(You can replace the coconut juice with water, but the flavor is not as good)
(Do not marinate the pork ribs in sugar if you use canned coconut juice it is already sweetened)
(Make sure it is coconut juice and not coconut milk)

In Vietnamese tradition. You eat it with rice and fresh salad greens. I will detail the dressing/dipping sauce for the salad greens.

American BBQ Ribs

Serves 2

500 g (half rack) pork ribs aka country ribs
Barbecue sauce
Salt
Pepper

-Heat up the grill on a medium setting on one burner and off on another burner. Or mentally not the hot and cold spots if using charcoal.
-Rub salt and pepper on the ribs.
-Place the ribs on the direct heat or hot area of the charcoals. You want to sear the ribs.
-Once the ribs are seared, place them on the indirect heat or cod spot. Gently brush on the bbq sauce as they cook.
-Eat while hot
(If you can get Dave' BBQ Sauce from Kansas City, you are lucky)
(You can boil the meat first, it leeches out a bit of the flavor, but it makes the meat tender)

Americans are a bit more savage when it comes to ribs. We use our hands and even at the nicer restaurants we need excess napkins to keep ourselves clean. But we do not have to worry about splinters of bone. They are consumed with mashed potatoes and some vegetable that is usually pushed aside, unless it is corn on the cob.

VN BBQ Half Rack

Serves: 2

500 g pork ribs (country ribs)
sugar
salt
fish sauce
garlic
shallots


-Slice individual ribs and boil them in salty water for a few minutes.
-Chop the garlic and shallot. Marinate the pork ribs in sugar, salt, fish sauce, garlic, shallots and oil.
-Grill the ribs over direct heat.


If you are looking for agood quality fish sauce from Vietnam. My suggestion is Hanh Phuc Fish Sauce. It is such a good quality that it is used for dipping and not cooking (too expensive). There are many types of fish sauce from many different countries, each one will have a different flavor. Thai and Vietnames are the most commonly imported, maybe Korean fish sauce, but I am unsure.

The Traditions of a VN Wedding

This is edited from a very good entry in Wikipedia, this is not my writing. Click here to read the original entry.

The Wedding

The wedding consists of an extensive set of ceremonies: asking permission to receive the bride, receiving the bride at her house, and bringing the bride to the groom’s house. Both Vietnamese and oversea-Vietnamese who desire to have a hybrid traditional Vietnamese and Western-style wedding will often incorporate the last two ceremonies with the Western-style wedding.

At the end of the ceremonies, there is a wedding reception for the two families and guests.

Asking Permission to "Receive" the Bride

Before the wedding day, the groom’s family would make a trip to the bride’s home with a gift of food and gold to officially ask permission to receive the bride. At this time, the bride's family would confirm the wedding and further proceedings would take place.

Receiving Bride at Her House

On the day of the wedding, the procession of the groom’s family is led in specific order. The first person would be the representative of the groom's house followed by the groom's father, the groom, then the rest of his family and close friends

Interestingly, in the past, the groom's mother might not take part in the procession as a sign that she would not be a threat to the future bride; she would even "hide" for a short period upon the bride's welcoming to the groom's home. However, this practice has long been abandoned. The number of people participating in the groom's procession varies but is usually restricted to a smaller number (20 or so) to make it easier on the bride's family, which must receive all the guests.

In the procession, the groom, his family and friends bear elaborately decorated lacquer boxes, covered in red cloth. Inside these boxes are gifts representing the wealth that the groom's family will bring to the bride's family. Gifts are nuts, fruit, cakes, and an abundance of gold (earrings, necklace, bracelets, and rings, usually a full matched set) for the bride. Usually, the number of gift boxes varies between 6 or 8, but never 7 or 9 since it is seen as bad luck. However, it depends on personal view and might be reduced to 2-3 boxes.

The procession of the groom’s “family” is all males giving the gifts. In other countries this is called the “brothers of the groom.” The gift boxes will be received by females. They are considered “sisters of the bride.” One female for each male, a male gives a gift, the female receives a gift.

There will be prayers to God in front of the family altar (since it is a Catholic family, it will be an altar of Jesus) asking for blessing for a good life.

The bride and groom, in front of all their guests, will serve tea (or wine) to their parents. Each parent will then give advice about marriage and family to the couple. A candle ceremony will follow, symbolizing the joining of the bride and groom and the joining of the two families. The groom's gift boxes filled with jewelry will be opened by the groom’s mother, who will then put each piece on the bride for good fortune.

Due to Western influence in the concept of wedding rings, modern weddings still include the giving of jewelry to the bride but followed by the exchange of wedding bands between the bride and groom. However, Catholic Vietnamese families reserve the exchange of wedding bands for the separate church ceremony.

In most weddings, the wedding will occur on that day and a small feast with friends and family will occur at the brides house.

Bringing Bride to Groom's House

The ceremony to bring the bride into the groom’s house starts as a procession. The family will welcome the bride into the house and a prayer will occur asking for a blessing on the bride. Half of the food given on the bride’s ceremony will be returned for a feast with the groom’s friends and family

Following the ceremony at the groom's house, all of the bride and groom's family and friends are invited to a reception that traditionally takes place at the groom's house.

Nowadays, however, the reception occurs immediately after the procession ceremony to the bride's house, and takes place at any desired location---such as either couple's house, a restaurant or a hotel banquet hall. It is not until after the reception that the bride is brought to the groom's house. The vast majority of newlyweds also have their own place. If so, they simply go to their house.

The number of guests in attendance at these modern-day receptions is especially large, usually in the hundreds. Elaborate 5 to 6 course meals are served, often starting with cold platters then followed by hot dishes such as seafood hot pot, and other Vietnamese and Chinese banquet dishes, often ending with a dessert.

Traditional Vietnamese Wedding Gifts

Guests are expected to bring gifts, and it is traditionally in the form of money in an envelope. As of January 2009, the appropriate amount is usually $50–$200 USD per person though more or less is possible depending on the locale. Immediate family, usually gives more money to the bride and groom. At one point during the reception, the bride and groom will go from table-to-table to thank guests for their blessings and sometimes collect the envelopes. Occasionally, the family and guests' monetary gifts will cover more than the cost of the wedding and reception. Most couples however leave a box at the sign-in table for guests to drop in their envelopes and cards, although this is frowned upon by older traditional conservatives.

The Bride's Change of Dress

In modern weddings, brides usually change into three different gowns during the reception. Her dresses are usually composed of the Western white wedding gown, a second Western dress to be worn at the end of the evening during the dancing, and a third traditional Áo dài to be worn during the traditional table visits to personally thank the guests for coming.

Modern Infusions in Religion and Culture

While most Vietnamese are Mahayana Buddhists, a significant number are Catholic. However, this does not change the traditional Vietnamese wedding. Vietnamese Catholics still incorporate all parts of the wedding ceremonies and reception. The only difference may lie in the ancestor worship at each newlywed's house. Some Catholics are comfortable with ancestor worship due to Vietnamese culture's deep history in reverence toward ancestors. Other Catholics who are not comfortable, however, may replace it with worshiping to Jesus or praying to the Virgin Mary.

Most current-day Vietnamese weddings—both in Vietnam and overseas—incorporate Western and Vietnamese traditions. One such infusion is the bride wearing both a Western wedding dress and an Áo dài during the wedding and reception.

Perhaps the most significant Western and Vietnamese infusion is the proceedings of the traditional three ceremonies. With the omitting of the first traditional ceremony ("asking permission to receive the bride"), the last two traditional ceremonies ("receiving bride at her house" and "bringing bride to groom's house") tend to no longer take place on the day of the wedding but instead are used in place of a Western engagement ceremony. Thus, the actual wedding day may only include a Buddhist/Church ceremony, and large reception.

Symbols

Traditional and modern symbols of marriage are often featured during Vietnamese marriage ceremonies as decorations on the wedding umbrellas, lacquer gift boxes (or the red cloth that covers them), or even the decorations in the homes of both the bride and groom. They usually include lanterns, doves, initials of the couple, among other things. However, one symbol that is indispensable are the words "song hỷ." This phrase also appears as the character 囍, which is reflective of Vietnam's influence by Chinese characters as well as the vernacular Nom script before the 20th century. While literacy in these scripts during feudalistic times was restricted mostly to scholars, officials and other members of the elite, characters such as these have always played an aesthetic role in important occasions such as weddings.

The Map

Here is the map so far. Nothing special. But I will continue to work on it. It will be useful for visiting me and later on visiting and living in Viet Nam.

My Big Silly Map

The Tentative Schedule for the Wedding

Many times when people plan weddings, it is more a focus on the bride and what the bride wants. Usually the brides wants a picture perfect ceremony, a picture perfect reception, followed by a picture perfect honeymoon in an exotic location where they can do girly things.

My fiancee is different. She wants something memorable, so we will do a show, processions and pretty much let everybody have fun being a bit corny. The idea is that since she is Catholic and I agree with the concept, divorce is not an option. If you are going to have one wedding, make it something people can talk about.

So for those who are coming or are interested in what is going on. I will detail our plans so far.

The wedding reception will be on January 2, 2010 in a large reception hall. This is a wedding meal of 5 courses of okay food that will last from 7:30 pm to 9:30 pm. The majority of time, when people are invited to a wedding this is what will happen. You come to a city, see a friend for a little time, skip the ceremony, go to the reception, get drunk and then go back home after your friend goes to some cool place for their honeymoon.

This is all and good if you are only traveling a few hours to see your friend. But when you have to travel 2 to 20 hours on a plane, arrange a visa, and go to a place where you do not speak the language. The rules change. The idea is simple, do something fun and not always traditional, but everybody will like it. Just like us.

So enough of me jabbering. What we are going to do when you come to Ho Chi Minh City for our wedding.

Friday, December 31st, 2009 (The Day Before the Craziness)

I expect many people from other parts of the world to show up on this day. It will be meet and greet, welcome to Viet Nam. Have people settle down and realize that they are no longer on an airplane. Traditionally this is the day for the bachelor/hen party. You can do this and it can be fun. But we are not traditional. We are making this day a bit simple. We will be with friends, enjoy some food and relax with friends. Welcoming friends at the airport multiple times and getting them to settle down will be more than enough work for us.

As for the menu. We are not sure what we will eat. Something sturdy and stable for queasy stomachs after a long plane trip.

Saturday, January 1st, 2010 (The Day of the Wedding Ceremony)

This is the day of the wedding ceremony. Late in the morning we will have a traditional ceremony where the groom asks permission from the bride's family. I will detail the ceremony, what is done, who does it, later in another post.

We will then have a Catholic ceremony. Most of it will be in Vietnamese (we are still discussing if any of it should be in English, it will depend on what other ceremonies we will have). The Cathloic ceremony will occur in the Tan Phu District where my fiancee's family lives. The majority of the time of the four or five day feast/festival/party will occur in the Tan Binh District of Ho Chi Minh City.

After the ceremony, there will be a nice dinner of roast suckling pig, grilled chicken, a simple VN soup, and salad at the house of my parents-in-law. After the feast, the bride will stay at her parents home and the groom will return to his home. They will not sleep in the same home and be together as a bride and groom until the next day.

Sunday, January 2, 2010 (The Day of the Wedding Reception)

In the afternoon or late in the morning, the ceremony where the groom will welcome the bride into his home. For fun we will have a procession down the street where the house I am renting is located. The ceremony where we welcome the bride into my home and my bed will occur.

We will then prepare for the reception. The reception hall is a half block away and it will start at 7:30 pm and probably end at 9:30 pm. It will be a five course meal for 300 people. The menu is still yet to be decided. But the food will be good, but not exceptional. After the reception, we will continue the party with friends and family at our house with beer and snacks.

Monday, January 3, 2010 (Recovery Day)

I am going to assume that we will be massively drunk on Sunday night and jetlag will kick in. People will be tired and need a rest. On this day, we will assist people to visit HCMC or just stay around and chat. Nothing crazy. Many people will want to fly home on this day. So we will see people off as they fly back home.

For those who are still in HCMC, we will have a some nice Goat Hotpot.

Tuesday, January 4, 2010 (Last Day)

For those who are staying longer, they want to see more of Vietnam than HCMC. So we will arrange a small trip to Vung Tau. So people can have the fun at the beach and eat some fresh seafood. Then go back to HCMC.

Vung Tau is about a 2 to 3 hour bus ride. Not long.

Sinh To Dau versus the Strawberry Smoothie

In Vietnam on the hot days you can get a nice cold drink on the street, in a food shop, or at a coffee shop. It is called Sinh To Dau. In the shops you will pay about $1 or $1.50 for a small cup. It is usually 2 strawberries, a spoon of sugar, and lots and lots of ice.

If you want to make it go from okay to exceptional in the Vietnamese recipe I will share with you.

Vietnamese Sinh To Dau
yields: 2 large mugs
ingredients:
7 Strawberries
2 to 4 tbs of sugar
3 tbs condensed milk
4 tbs plain yoghurt
ice

American Strawberry Smoothie
yields: 2 large mugs
ingredients:
7 strawberries
1 banana
1 cup plain yoghurt
2 tbs sugar (or less)
milk (usually skim)
ice

In both recipes you will hull the strawberries. Put the strawberries in the blender, put in all the rest of the ingredients (except for the ice). Blend it all together. And slowly add the ice making it thick and smooth. In the VN version you will add more or less sugar depending on the sweetness of the strawberries. In the American version the milk is added to thin out the smoothie so it becomes easier to drink. The VN version it is made thick and you drink with a large straw and you eat slowly as it melts on a hot night.

The American version I find very plain and boring, it is meant to be healthy. For some odd reason "healthy food" is equated to dull and bland. This is a fallacy of the health food movement, the sins that they have done to tofu is almost painful.

The VN version is flavorful, the condensed milk is much better (I think). But it is not a morning drink, it is an after dinner dessert. But again in the VN version you can adapt to make it either sour or sweet, depending on your tastes. In Vietnam, the choices aren't as limited as the smoothie. You can choose: strawberry, avocado, custard apple, mango (green or yellow), pineapple, coconut, etc.

The VN versions are usually simple, they will just do one fruit. I will give two recipes for you.

Sinh To Coconut and Blackberry
Yield: 2 large mugs
1 pint blackberries
1/2 cup coconut milk (sweetened Thai)
4 tbs condensed milk
1/4 tps vanilla extract
2 tbs sugar
4 tbs yoghurt
ice

Sinh To Italian Berry
Yield: 2 large mugs
2/3 cup strawberries
2/3 cup blueberries
2/3 cup blackberries
2/3 cup raspberries
5 basil leaves (not dried, fresh)
1 tbs balsamic vinegar
4 tbs sugar (more or less depending on sweetness of berry)
ice

Follow the same instructions as above. These recipes are not set in stone. Adapt and change to fit your tastes. All my recipes are suggestions.

Introduction

Hello all, this is a blog detailing the months coming to my wedding in Ho Chi Minh City on January 2, 2011. I will detail the restaurants and the food I enjoy eating in Ho Chi Minh City and Vietnam. Plus, I will share recipes of Vietnamese food, their western equivalent, and then make a hybrid version of it (aka fusion) or I will detail an American, Italian, French, etc recipe using ingredients you can find in Vietnam.

First, a little about myself. I am a former five star chef that got tired of seeing the word from a kitchen. So I did a sea change as the Australians call it, and settled down in Vietnam as an ESL (English as a Second Language) Teacher. The picture above is one of me and my fiancee and two friends as we visited Da Lat. We met online in January 2009, and met in real life on May 15, 2009. In August 2009, I proposed to her. Now we are taking our time and make sure we are right for each other. But we both want a wedding that our friends will not forget. I will give you details later.