Observations

After witnessing two weddings between a southeast Asian girl and a westerner. I noticed some common problems that occur. These are problems I will talk about and then discuss ways it will be avoided.


1. The wedding was done in a rush.

Since, we planned to get married in about 6 months, and we put alot of thought into it already. We are not going to rush things. Our goal is to have everything planned and prepared at least one month before we get married. We are going to a friend's wedding in Hong Kong at the end of November. And we want everything planned and prepared before that time. So people visiting from overseas will know what is going on.


2. The visitors from overseas were neglected and uncomfortable.

Both weddings were in a more countryside manner. Because of that, it meant uncomfortable travel and conditions that are very unfamiliar to a person from the west. Again, we are lucky, the wedding will be held in Ho Chi Minh City, so even if a person shows up for one day (from another part of SE Asia, it won't be too difficult).

We will give people options for hotels to stay at, along with photos inside the room and negotiated price for that hotel and distance from locations. The devil is in the details.

Since people traveled far and wide to see us, it has been stated that as a good host, I should make sure all is okay with them. So if you want to journey outside and do things away from the group. It is okay, we will give maps and tour guide links and locations for restaurants and shops. But we will have group activities also planned. A guest from another country being stuck in a hotel room all day as we go out and have fun or see people is unforgivable.

Food, I will list all the food menus that we will provide for the four days the we plan for the wedding feasts. I will list, describe, and photograph the majority of the dishes we will provide.

The wedding feast itself will be okay, if we go to too expensive and nice banquet hall for food, it is a waste of money. We are planning to have about 300 people at the reception and most are not gourmets in the small part. So for those who did not eat much, we will have snacks for people to feed on as we gather and converse after the reception.

We will also have a large variety of snack food and drinks for people to grab at our house to take back to their hotel room. We are welcome to suggestions, but water and a large selection of fruit is guaranteed. Vietnam is renowned for fresh fruit and many different types. Many people miss this when they visit.


3. People can get sick from the food and water.

We will remind people to not drink the water and not to eat fresh greens outside of our home. All greens will be washed in tap water, if your stomach isn't cast in iron, this will give you a bug (it takes a new person about 2 to 6 months to adapt). We will wash all greens in our houses in filtered/boiled water, so all the nasties that will affect your stomach are dead. So you can enjoy all aspects of Vietnamese food (they eat alot of fresh salad greens). We will also have a big box full of stomach medicines.

We will have bottles of water for people to take and drink along with other liquids for you to drink.


4. If you are not used to it, Asia is an assault on the senses.

I noticed that many people visiting Asia, especially Vietnam, have all their senses shattered. It is hot, and even in January it will be hot (not for SE Asians or Aussies), but for North Americans, it will be hot. The constant traffic noise and congestion will bother your ears. The pollution will affect your nose and eyes. And nothing looks familiar. The saying that every city is the same will be challenged.

You will need a form of a safe haven, away from the noise, smells, and pollution. We will have a hotel nearby, but if you don't like it, we will also have hotel options nearby. It may mean a taxi ride away. If so, we will have a print out of locations in Vietnamese and a phone number for the taxi driver. Our house is big enough and will always be a place for people to relax and eat. Even if we are not there. But I do not suggest it, because being abandoned in a foreign country sucks.


5. During the ceremonies people not knowing what is going on

Many times parents and family will see all these great things and have no clue what it means. And just sit there like a dumb post wanting to say something and not knowing when to speak or what to say. All formal ceremonies will have a sheet describing it, translating what is said. And if a speech is given, the basic idea will be translated. Plus, my family will also have to participate (if they want), in similar sheets they will have the words in English and a phonetic form of Vietnamese (that is not going to be fun, but needed).

During the reception, we are looking for an MC that is strong in English also. But if not found, we will have Tram be the bride and the MC. That will be the last option.



That is all I can think of now for problems and solutions. If there are anymore that you have seen or can think of, please make a comment.